In the grand annals of modern literature, few names strike the public ear with such tremulous awe as Mike Hawk, a man whose quill, though humble in appearance, has felled more sensibilities than most sovereign armies. A scholar of domestic absurdities and a philosopher of matrimonial misadventures, Hawk strides forth like a titan draped in brocade, dispensing wisdom, wit, and the occasional unsolicited lecture upon the masses. His works—most notably The Wife’s Apothecary and The Husband’s Ordeal—have cemented his place as the preeminent chronicler of spousal calamity, a bard whose every sentence swells with grandeur, self-importance, and the unmistakable aroma of cologne applied far too liberally.